what has happened, i cannot describe and cannot forget. i find it hard not to be angry, neither do i want to not be. i feel that i have a right to and somehow i like to believe that maybe displaying my anger can be a way of warding off any further dramatic happenings. or to prep myself for any further disappointment.
that being said, i am not all that pessimistic, or ungrateful. i am grateful for and grateful to the name that came to my mind in the moment of exasperation and answered to my call. doumo arigato. without whom, i really don't know who else.
and my cousin. who has always been the giving one to the receiving me.
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