looking for ways to escape, everyday we are looking

怎么办？原本想去垦丁的， 但是因为太远所以打消了念头。好想去垦丁！
阳光，沙滩，彭于晏。。。

旅行可以抛弃悲伤… 来过垦丁吗?
垦丁的海就像温柔的双臂...

suitcasing our hearts,
masking up in powdered colours.

we
tangle ourselves in the arms of web
plug on the earphones of music,
act along a believable plot
ebb to the rhythm of love, lust, randomness.

leaving footsteps in foreign lands and culture,
placing our existence yet casting our shadows
everyday
we escape.

the food series - Melben Crabs

Location: Melben (Ang Mo Kio)
Participants: Senior Climb Retirees
Purpose: Graduation Feast
Damage: $240+ worth of food inclusive of chilli crab, butter crab & crab bee hoon down our stomachs.

are you happy? not just today but generally?

There's always room for happiness.

Sweetheart, bitter heart
Now I can't tell you apart
Cozy and cold
Put the horse before the cart

Those teenage hopes
Who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up
To one little lie

Oh, oh, oh
You're changing your heart
Oh, oh, oh
You know who you are

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then

....Feist - One Two Three Four

洋蔥

如果你愿意一層一層一層 的剝開我的心
你會發現 你會訝异
你是我 最壓抑 最深處的秘密

如果你愿意一層一層一層 的剝開我的心
你會鼻酸 你會流淚
只要你能听意 到我
看到我的全心全意

...阿信/楊宗緯

守株待兔

there is a chinese idiom that defines my life.
守株待兔

the little pleasures

collages and blog design
the only 2 things i do which MAY come close to the term 'design'
but i know for sure they do make me happy.

music: Memories by The Melody

i dont only forget the little things, I forget the important one too

was thinking though the conversations that have taken place recently (most of which do not deviate too far from graduation and career) and trying to organize them into words. i find myself recalling what I remember as Mr Wee's life lessons and singing to myself the favourite hymn he makes us sing.

I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.

I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

humbling

what have i been up to?

what have i been up to. after my last paper at 11am, the initial plan was to loiter around till dinner time and meet F.M. my final paper, the final lap of my education (as far as i see it now).... i was left alone craving for mcdonald's hotcakes. and that didn't come true either because i then realize it was pass the breakfast time and i found myself wandering in the little streets of bugis.

i have a penchant for such streets, streets that reminds you of the old and the new, surviving together. it almost feels like i'm in an exploration, soaking up what i see and hoping i'd find something interesting, hidden away in this unflattering street.

i found and settled on this beef noodle shop which reminds me of the pho place in Vietnam ( i forgot if its in Hanoi or HCMC) just that instead of pho it was kway teow. its funny how memory works, how u remember some and forget some. like how i cannot even recall what city it was in but i recall the auntie who spoke chinese and the dog whom fi claims that it ate up a croakroach which was there and then was gone. Link: Hock Lam Beef Noodles - Purvis St (where Ms Clarity is)

and then i found myself in the library. after all those years of studying, i would have think books would be the last thing i'd touch for awhile. i didn't expect myself to end up in a library but i did. i gave up the thought of loitering as i was tired from the lack of sleep from the night before and went home with books.

and the rest of it, its history. in a literal sense really, because i spent it on The Kite Runner which was almost like going through Afgan history which made me ashamed of myself really. because all this while, i've never bothered with current affairs and to know it from fiction, riveting as it is, is merely scratching the surface. we will never know, God forbid that we ever know, how things really are like.

p/s: do let me know if you have any good reads to recommend/lend me.

a graduation piece

Hold up
Hold on
Dont be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Dont be scared (dont be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why are you scared? (Im not scared)
You'll never change
Whats been and gone

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Were all of us stars
Were fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see us some day

Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out

...Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis

this is the end and also the beginning and along with it accompanies a sense of joy, fear, hesitation, uncertainty, hope. i pray that we have hope.

nobody can tell us for sure that we will know our way, we will find our way or that we will get there. nobody can tell us for sure that a dream job can live up to expectation or the risk or opportunity is worth it. but i pray that we have hope.

take the hope that you have and be on your way. i pray that you have hope.

i hope this speaks to you in the same way it has for me..

If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

...Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

jiey

it's just that few hours away...

i wish for another time to say
hello and goodbye.

You say yes, I say no
You say stop and I say go, go, go
Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello

....Hello & Goodbye - The Beatles

welcome home.

i met up with a friend who counts how long i've known him by the world cups. i know 9 years, thats 2 world cups. from post secondary school (which means im discounting all those group gatherings and the time he was forced to study with me for the O's), i don't think i can count the number of times i met him with my 10 fingers. and of the last 2 meet-ups, it was so long ago he had to remind me when they happened.

but....... not that it changed anything. there's something so distinctly familiar about our friendship that it wouldnt be right if we didnt drink, if he didnt smoke, if i didnt have anything to say about him smoking. so to me, it didnt feel right when in my occasional decision to log on to msn, he asked where i've disappeared to, i didnt even log on to facebook.... it didnt feel right when he had to look for me when he needed someone to talk to.

times like this i realize that a passive, lazyass like me depend on people like him to keep the friendship alive. and yes, i do feel remorseful.

like i said, you told me once that "its all part of growing up"....
so same thing to you... its all part of growing up.. it depends on when you realize it.

after all you are just human, and this is one of your few but hard fall but you know that your family is there to pick you up to start over. nobody can tell you how, when, what, where (or even who for that matter) that moment will be, but in the end i know things will be okay again.

but till then, preserve that liver. and that optimism i still see in you.

7

procrastination stops and mugging starts...
now? (nope, wanna bathe first)
5pm (nope, time for tv)
6pm? (but dinner is just in an hour time...)
8pm (tv)
9pm...
10pm...
11pm...
Thursday, Friday, Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues (day of paper).

countdown: 7 days.

怀念的人

怀念的声音

我想起你描述梦想天堂的样子
手指著远方画出一栋一栋房子
你傻笑的表情又那么诚实
所有的信任是从那一刻开始
你给我一个到那片天空的地址
只因为太高摔得我血流不止
带著伤口回到当初背叛的城市
唯一收容我的却是自己的影子
想跟著你一辈子
至少这样的世界没有现实
想赖著你一辈子
做你感情里最后一个天使
如果梦醒时还在一起
请容许我们相依为命
绚烂也许一时平淡走完一世
是我选择你这样的男子
就怕梦醒时已分两地
谁也挽不回这持离
爱恨可以不分责任可以不问
天亮了我还是不是你的女人

。。。词曲：袁惟仁

1996:
i was 11 and in primary five. and i owned this cassette copy of faye wong's 浮躁.

i think i was the one who convinced my mum to buy the tape for me because i was the only one in the family listening to this tape almost everyday. it laid in the drawer that contained the family's cassette tape collection, among which also lies my story tapes which told the tales of cinderalla and the girl who sold matchsticks.

i mimicked the di-dar way of singing and sang along each and everytime the la-sup-po song was played. back in the days when our family would go to ktv, it would be jackie cheung for my uncles and faye wong for me.

this was how i grew up and the music to remember it by.

End of Week 13.

I’ve seen year 4s who finish up their last term concentrating on job hunting, partying or just slacking.

Me? My last 2 presentations in smu have been nothing short of being a nightmare. for one of them, 3 final year students almost got played out by a year 2 guy who was sleeping at home with us frantically calling him nonstop for the past 2 hours while thinking of what to do should he not turn up for our presentation. I didn’t murder anyone because he did wake up but only half an hour before class started, walked into class an hour late. We were just lucky we were the last group to present.

…..And I’m STILL NOT done yet. a report to hand in by thurs, quiz and last class on Saturday, a final exam on the 16^th.

Decided that we totally need to reward ourselves for braving through this nightmare and being back in school on both a Saturday and Sunday, so Lip and I headed to Ichibantei after our meeting. It’s so great to have great food and to hang out with a great friend who has been there for the past semester - laughing at my jokes, cursing bitchy profs, sharing the love for drama, food, travel and also teaching me Hakka. (hey man! ngai suka sit chou mui!)

Count down: 10 more days.

ok

寂寞很ok 一个人ok 习惯就ok
...Ok : 张震岳

indignant.

my final term really shouldnt be ending on such a note. it really shouldnt.

dont you dare brand me as a personality whom i myself personally abhor and then judge me based on such a myopic and biased point of view.

"you students..."
if you tone down your voice a little,
you may actually begin to hear what you are actually saying.

you 'teachers'.

old maid

it was initially supposed to be just dinner with xihao, then fi called before dinner time and then apple called after dinner time. so i met all 3 of them (separately) and it was just jolly good time catching up.

and hey the old bitch here is going to graduate in 14 days!

april fool's day morning

it's april! i woke up a great big early today and witnessed the first few rays of april fool's day sunshine. while it sounds absurd, it actually felt good to be up in the early morning and to have the the morning to myself (without my mother's nagging, my brother's disgusting taste in music).

a episode of lost time life, a newly downloaded album, countless random surfing later, i felt an inexplicable joy and then the world started chattering again.

also watching: "City of Sadness"- an old 1989 taiwanese film set in jiufen

an old film in hokkien dialouges, i amuse myself sometimes.

星の流れに

星の流れに (流星) Shooting Star

詞Lyrics 清水みのる
曲Music 利根一郎
演唱Sung by 家家Jiajia

【日文歌詞】

星の流れに　身を占って
何処をねぐらの　今日の宿
荒む心で　いるのじゃないが
泣けて涙も　涸れ果てた
こんな女に誰がした

【歌詞中譯】
隨著流星占卜自己的命運
何處才是我今日的歸宿呢
我的心不就是慌亂的嗎
能哭的眼淚都已涸乾
是誰決定了這樣女人的一生

can someone help me translate and give me the romanization?