commencement

my parents and grandma who sat through a 4 hour long ceremony, even though they don't understand much of what is said on said. jostled with the crowd to take pictures for/with me. the excitement in their voices, the smile on their faces that hinted of their pride. everything, just for me.

friends who cared enough to stick around, bake us a beautiful cake. you people on my left and right, not during the ceremony, but people who surround me and built me a wall of support.

no amount of paper nor qualification can touch nor shape your life nor hold as much value without them.

and last but not least, happy birthday jan! saranghae chingu!

Altus Dignitas

now that the grades are out, i can officially put this SMU stone out of my heart and be thankful at least I didnt drop from high merit to merit!

jan, let's not woe that we don't have a latin name on our certificate. we can secretly erase "High Merit" off and replace it with "Altus Dignitas". (sounds better than cum laude eh??) bloody atas latin.

oh, i am so feeling this new weight called CAREER now.

a graduation piece

Hold up
Hold on
Dont be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Dont be scared (dont be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why are you scared? (Im not scared)
You'll never change
Whats been and gone

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Were all of us stars
Were fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see us some day

Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out

...Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis

this is the end and also the beginning and along with it accompanies a sense of joy, fear, hesitation, uncertainty, hope. i pray that we have hope.

nobody can tell us for sure that we will know our way, we will find our way or that we will get there. nobody can tell us for sure that a dream job can live up to expectation or the risk or opportunity is worth it. but i pray that we have hope.

take the hope that you have and be on your way. i pray that you have hope.

i hope this speaks to you in the same way it has for me..

If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

...Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

jiey

it's just that few hours away...

i wish for another time to say
hello and goodbye.

You say yes, I say no
You say stop and I say go, go, go
Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello

....Hello & Goodbye - The Beatles

7

procrastination stops and mugging starts...
now? (nope, wanna bathe first)
5pm (nope, time for tv)
6pm? (but dinner is just in an hour time...)
8pm (tv)
9pm...
10pm...
11pm...
Thursday, Friday, Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues (day of paper).

countdown: 7 days.

End of Week 13.

I’ve seen year 4s who finish up their last term concentrating on job hunting, partying or just slacking.

Me? My last 2 presentations in smu have been nothing short of being a nightmare. for one of them, 3 final year students almost got played out by a year 2 guy who was sleeping at home with us frantically calling him nonstop for the past 2 hours while thinking of what to do should he not turn up for our presentation. I didn’t murder anyone because he did wake up but only half an hour before class started, walked into class an hour late. We were just lucky we were the last group to present.

…..And I’m STILL NOT done yet. a report to hand in by thurs, quiz and last class on Saturday, a final exam on the 16^th.

Decided that we totally need to reward ourselves for braving through this nightmare and being back in school on both a Saturday and Sunday, so Lip and I headed to Ichibantei after our meeting. It’s so great to have great food and to hang out with a great friend who has been there for the past semester - laughing at my jokes, cursing bitchy profs, sharing the love for drama, food, travel and also teaching me Hakka. (hey man! ngai suka sit chou mui!)

Count down: 10 more days.

indignant.

my final term really shouldnt be ending on such a note. it really shouldnt.

dont you dare brand me as a personality whom i myself personally abhor and then judge me based on such a myopic and biased point of view.

"you students..."
if you tone down your voice a little,
you may actually begin to hear what you are actually saying.

you 'teachers'.

no mug

as we edge closer and closer to the end of academic life (just 3 more weeks to be exact), it gets more and more painful to be mugging for exams. feel like this old train running out of steam, struggling and chugging the last lap to the destination.

im currently having serious thoughts about not studying. that thought, is very tempting.

huffs

for the past weeks, its been like a non-stop papers/tests/homework baton passing marathon. the end seems so near yet so far.

gene cell groupies

pictures taken with talib's pro camera on the malacca trip

are u criminalistic???

the fact that my del.icio.us is filled with scientific websites about genetics and criminal behaviour says a lot about my life right now.

times when i want to be mary poppins.

i think of the papers barely written and it scares the living shit out of me.

80s rewind

finally had the chance to satisfy the karaoke craving with a new group of people - the ktv groupie from the HR gang. ktv totally unleashes this other side of people and its so hilarious. now we have videos that we can bribe each other with, which of course means it can't be shown to anyone! just imagine one doing her cantopop moves, another doing her para-para moves while singing to SMAP, EVERYONE doing retro moves to the GRASSHOPPERS' songs, at the actions to "对你爱爱爱不完".....

we are so from the 80s.

jay chou & aaron kwok doing the 对你爱爱爱不完 . This is a CLASSIC.

climb team old fogies

i should not have a wii at home because
(1) i will not leave my house
(2) my right arm will be bigger than my left due to repeated right arm action
(3) i will wake up in the morning aching (like this morning)
(4) i have to risk looking like a retard while playing
(5) i will end up like feifei (and risk having no friends)

I should SO have a wii & hopefully tackey & tsubasa to play with.

thanks peishan & fei for organizing, the food & the fun!

manchi playing wii boxing

Woods - Wine Company

my 2nd drinking session with the HR-AA is at Woods @ Dempsey Hill on a thursday night no less. 吃喝嫖赌。its just short of the 嫖. there are some serious mahjong tai-tais in this clique. i know better than to play with them!

Great big hug

to jan, for helping me out with the feedback and saying nice things about me. although, somethings she said i have no recollection of at all. but thats just me. i have short-term memory remember?

to the rest of you.... quick boost my ego! or rather, send it back to me ASAP because I was filling in all the project deadlines and midterm exam dates today and its freaking me out now cos its all due one after another in mid-feb which means CNY and i have to start getting my ass to work NOW.

smouldering hot weather

am enjoying my final term in school. probably because the stress period isn't here yet and im basking in the happiness of the upcoming chinese new year. during the 3hr break, its eating and shopping & feeling blessed because.... maggie, yieng & yongbin came down to have lunch with me yesterday & on wednesday jan, liping & i went down to orchard to lunch together with gan ann.

we also visited richard at his BE studio yesterday. first time i've been to a studio & listening to the DJs record their show (*although it is a radio show that maybe 6 people tune in to, most probably ah tiongs too)

there also seem to be hope for a taiwan trip! perhaps perhaps perhaps

nature & nurture

my gene cell prof echoed my thoughts about human beings being too complex such that it is impossible to understand someone fully. he added that relationships are too fluid and that you can't say someone is your wife until the day she lies there dead.

a morbid way of putting it, but true.

yes, i am studying DNA. and my takeaway is that....

for everything you are now, blame it on your parents!

sorry mama i'm so lazy

its just a ride

im excited about a course assignment. and yes, you heard it right.

i'm taking this half module called leadership practices and skills. because...
1) fulfills my credit for OBHR major
2) no exam
3) no group project

happy enough. even happier when we found out that our prof was super nice & charming. but still, leadership skills and practices still sounds like a bullshit course where u throw up leadership theories and go through some case studies of leadership.

week 2 of class, the major individual assignment was revealed to us.
it surprises and delights me because it is MEANINGFUL & i feel that it wraps up my academic life nicely. Now, what a way to describe an assignment.

its a assignment much related to self-discovery & awareness. we are supposed to get people to tell us "how we are great", and how they see us at our best. and from here, we are supposed to present a summary on what is said about us, discover our strong points and how that applies to leadership.

now, after 4 years in here. maybe only now i can manage to coerce myself into saying we are different in a positive manner.

i've always felt that its impossible to understand someone completely. you cannot even understand yourself completely. because (1) we do not usually take the time to reflect on why we do the things we do and behave the way we are, (2) our logic and behaviors are erratic merely because we are too complex a creature that we cannot strictly place ourself into nicely segregated types. we are abit of everything, full of overlaps and contradictions.

when we do take time to think through what kind of person we are, it does make u proud and scared are the same time. self discovery is like a neverending rollercoaster ride, it never ends and you feel proud and scared apeshit at the same time.

let's end this off with a parable prof mention in class (its interesting)
Parable: The Cracked Pot

espresso

besides it being tiring to wake up at 6.30am and having to be in school from 8.30am to 6.45pm (with a torturous 3hr break in between), everything else is normal. final term in school so nothing should quite faze me anymore, i hope. and my profs seem normal enough.

got to know a korean exchange student today cos she was sitting right next to me in class. for some reason, im quite happy about that. i guess i've secretly wanted to have a korean friend all along. hahaha.

on a somehow related note, coffee prince is a really good show that got me laughing and good shows have been lacking for a while now. nothing beats watching a good show and having a good laugh to end your day.

p/s: i finished the show. love love love love love